How to look after yourself and everyone else
For women, it can often feel like we take care of everyone else, put everyone else's needs first and neglect to check in with ourselves to see how we are actually coping. More times then I'd like to admit I have been so caught up in putting others first that I have reached that point of overwhelm, you know those times when you go and go and go and then one tiny mishap or culmination of tiny mishaps puts the pressure on and you crumble?
And crumble you do, and I'm not talking about the apple type, I'm talking about the lose your shit crumble, you feel silly for crying, telling yourself you are overreacting but emotions are legit and it is so important to acknowledge them and take a look at what caused you to feel this way.
If you don't laugh, you'll cry and other silly things we say!
Expert Crying Tip- Find yourself someone you are comfortable crying in front of, a person you can trust not to judge you or throw feel good cliches at you. Find someone that is willing to be there to comfort you and really listen to you. It also helps to have a friend that tells you that you look pretty when you cry so if you have found one of them, keep them!
Silence is golden and sometimes uncomfortable!
Taking the time to sit in how you feel is good for the soul, we don't cry for no reason! I love to sit by the ocean and watch the waves roll in as I work out how I'm feeling and why, I like to think that when sitting on the rocks by the ocean I look indie movie pensive but in reality I look like a bit of a basket case and you know what, I'm okay with that. Being okay with being upset helps you process your feelings.
Taking stock of your feelings and your motivations for taking care of everyone but yourself can be helpful in working out what you need and what boundaries you can put in place so that you don't reach the same place again. Learning from your own emotions will help you grow and in between all the learning and growing make sure you do something kind for yourself.
Self Care Tips:
Teach yourself a short breathing exercise to calm yourself in times of emotional overwhelm (and we aren't talking breathing into a paper bag here...although that is handy at times!) See below link for 3 quick breathing exercises for slowing down your breathing, lowering anxiety and grounding yourself.
(link) - https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/mini-relaxation-exercises-a-quick-fix-in-stressful-moments
- Sit yourself down with a cup of sleepy time tea and pop on a face mask, sitting for 15 minutes as your face hydrates does wonders!
- Take a salt bath with a glass of wine and a relaxing soundtrack, its a bit of an effort but your muscles will thank you later, but remember to stay hydrated as your releasing loads of toxins in a salt bath.
- Look in the mirror each morning and remind yourself that you are awesome, you haven't come this far to give up now and your voice about yourself needs to be louder than others.
- Go for a coffee by yourself or with a good book or better yet with your awesome non-judgemental friend you cried in front of last week, good company is good for the soul. Share a laugh and speak out good things instead of focusing on the problem.
Share this with your nearest and dearest Kindred Soul and most importantly, don't forget that you are beautiful. xx
Written by Erica Savage on behalf of Kindred Souls.